Got a toothbrush?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
