but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
