She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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