some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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