i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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