God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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