420 ftw
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
