I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
