dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
