Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
