How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
