the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
