life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
