At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
