hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
