there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
