My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
