I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
