So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize