Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And then he peed in my hair
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