the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
