I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
