This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
