His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
