I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
