so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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