Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
