so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
