You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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