MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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