He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
