Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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