i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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