I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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