when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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