Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
