At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
