Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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