You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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