I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
