Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
