I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
