Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize