i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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