Swine flu. Run for my life!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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