Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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