is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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