i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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