No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
