dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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