And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He's a Shit stain on my heart
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
