some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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