using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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