i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
