jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So squirting runs in the family.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
