the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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