I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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