I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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