I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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