is your mom at the bar?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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