Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
