I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize