that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
