perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
worst night to have a conscience
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
