Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
