a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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