whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
