Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
