Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
