i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
