I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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