OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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